The Life of the Party
by Zarius
Summary: DM relies on being a step or two behind the times to keep guests entertained as the Professor has her revenge (spoilers for "Happy Boom Day")


**DANGERMOUSE:**

 **THE LIFE OF THE PARTY**

 **WRITTEN BY ZARIUS**

 **Disclaimer: Dangermouse (2015) and all trademarked characters are property of Fremantle Media and CBBC**

* * *

Hold on a minute folks...I just have to break out of this blasted box...ah, that's better.

Yes, another crisis averted, and I'm too late to sum up the episode, the credits have rolled, and life goes on for our terrific trinity of Dangermouse, Penfold, and the birthday belle of the ball herself, Professor Squawkencluck.

"The day is yours again Professor, be sure to seize it" DM said to the snarky scientist.

"Oh don't worry Dangermouse, I aim to seize something" she said, cackling just a tiny bit before exiting the room.

DM fiddled with his pockets and realized the keys to the Danger Car were missing.

"I do believe I've been robbed Penfold" he said, "The keys to the Mark IV are gone"

"Oh, that was just the Professor picking your pockets Chief"

"But she was standing right next to you"

"Uh huh, and I was the one she picked to pick your pocket"

"Et Tu Penfold?" Dangermouse replied in shock

"I was trying to make things up to her after we nuked all of her presents to keep everyone safe from the Baron's weapons" Penfold explained, "She reckoned you wouldn't be the first to suggest some form of repentance for how the day went since you're not so accommodating towards people's feelings, so she's trying to make you understand your own"

"My own?" asked DM

"That's right, she thinks humility is as good a feeling to start with as any, she'll hand you the keys to the car back once you're done entertaining the agency"

DM looked out at the crowd that had gathered earlier in the day for the party. They were all there, every agent; even the Colonel had forgiven Squawkencluck frying him with her blaster when the party was sprung on her.

"You mean...I have to entertain everyone in this room?" DM said

Penfold nodded, "It's that, or the car remains impounded for a whole month, she'll keep it under lock and key, and no, 'password' is not the code to access it like it's been the last twenty or so time you found yourself in this predicament on each of the Professor's birthdays, we aim to make it a little more difficult for you to figure out"

"Penfold, level with me, is it passwords instead of 'password?"' DM replied.

Penfold refused to let it slip.

DM sighed, "Fine, fine"

He clapped his hands together and called everyone to the centre of the room.

"So...yes, welcome friends, I'm the, um, light, no, heavy, no, mild, never...how about...electrifying? Yes that's a hook, I'm your electrifying dose of entertainment on this fine day celebrating the age of our beloved boffin, and I was thinking back to the years she had to have spent as a chick...whatever was on the box eh?"

Squawkencluck walked back in carrying two plates. On each of the plates was a slice of birthday cake. She handed one over to Penfold.

"How's it going?" she said

"I think DM's about to go into that spiel of his about TV show intros and how they're actually better than the shows you watched when you were young" Penfold revealed, "I wouldn't worry too much, it's just an excuse for him to break into his awkward impersonation of the 'Not Unusual' Carlton Banks dance"

"That's a little played out even by this early portion of the century's standards" the Professor noted.

"Yeah, leave it to the chief to act and dance like a dad, one step in front of a modern day mission yet trailing another foot behind the times" Penfold remarked.

"I did have a good time in the end Penfold, I got to rescue you two from the Baron's clutches, your we played around with murderous, not musical chairs, and I got to test more gadgets out saving your skin, I was more involved, and that was very empowering. DM's right, the day was mine and I seized every moment. That was what got me pumped up, I was so alive"

"Life is what you should bring to any party Professor" Penfold said.

"I'm sorry I told you to shush earlier too" the Professor added, "You wouldn't have reduced the gifts that brought me such light if you didn't want to spare me from the dark" she continued, and gave Penfold a peck on the cheek.

Penfold blushed, "Happy birthday Professor"

The two settled down beside each other and engaged in hysterical merriment at the sight of DM and his absurdist fresh prince dance moves, his humility brightening the remainder of their perfect day


End file.
